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Ariana

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Ariana is Currently Reading

Ariana is currently reading

The Band Never Dances

by J.D. Landis (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: currently-reading

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Jul 26, 2019 01:23PM

“Toddlers don't like to eat from their own plates. It's far too predictable. They much prefer raining on your own food parade by picking at your meal. When toddlers do this, it's their way of saying, "Motherfucker, I own you." If you've never tried to enjoy food while having a dirty, chubby toddler hand that has probably recently been up her butt reach onto your plate and pull off your last slice of bacon, you're living the dream.”
― Bunmi Laditan, Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault

tags: humor, parenting-children, toddlers

0 likes

“Cousins are like celebrities for little kids.”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

22 likes

“Now there are adults without children who go to Disney, and they are called weirdos. Very nice people. Absolutely crazy.”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

16 likes

“Simply put, once married you will no longer give a shit about how you look. What's more, personal appearance can be a handy arena in which to punish your spouse passive aggressively by allowing your own appearance to deteriorate.”
― Al Franken, Oh, the Things I Know!: A Guide to Success, or, Failing That, Happiness

tags: marriage

1 likes

“No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending family gatherings is for your children to have the time of their lives with their cousins. Little kids love their cousins. I’m not being cute or exaggerating here. Cousins are like celebrities for little kids. If little kids had a People magazine, cousins would be on the cover. Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family get-together will be. “Are the cousins going to be there? Fun!”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

12 likes

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