Ariana

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The Band Never Da...
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by J.D. Landis (Goodreads Author)
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Bunmi Laditan
“Toddlers don't like to eat from their own plates. It's far too predictable. They much prefer raining on your own food parade by picking at your meal. When toddlers do this, it's their way of saying, "Motherfucker, I own you." If you've never tried to enjoy food while having a dirty, chubby toddler hand that has probably recently been up her butt reach onto your plate and pull off your last slice of bacon, you're living the dream.”
Bunmi Laditan, Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault

Jim Gaffigan
“No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending family gatherings is for your children to have the time of their lives with their cousins. Little kids love their cousins. I’m not being cute or exaggerating here. Cousins are like celebrities for little kids. If little kids had a People magazine, cousins would be on the cover. Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family get-together will be. “Are the cousins going to be there? Fun!”
Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

Jim Gaffigan
“The go-to is your parents. You know they are not serial killers. They want to see their grandchild, and you don't want to pay anyone. The perfect situation! The problem is, when you are not paying someone to do a favor for you, they don't really need to listen to you. . . Also your mom and dad are crazy. They raised you, and you are a disaster! By letting them watch your kids, you are giving them free rein to replicate their mistakes.”
Jim Gaffigan
tags: humor

Al Franken
“Simply put, once married you will no longer give a shit about how you look. What's more, personal appearance can be a handy arena in which to punish your spouse passive aggressively by allowing your own appearance to deteriorate.”
Al Franken, Oh, the Things I Know!: A Guide to Success, or, Failing That, Happiness

Jim Gaffigan
“Now there are adults without children who go to Disney, and they are called weirdos. Very nice people. Absolutely crazy.”
Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

year in books
Alyssa ...
2,744 books | 127 friends

Emily
2,222 books | 29 friends

Reese I...
1,235 books | 13 friends

Sasha
2,280 books | 75 friends

Jessica...
3,985 books | 1 friend

Moselle...
206 books | 66 friends

Julia
106 books | 38 friends

Alyssa ...
456 books | 13 friends

More friends…
The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
The MOVIE was BETTER than the BOOK
1,134 books — 10,103 voters



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