Ariana

“Now there are adults without children who go to Disney, and they are called weirdos. Very nice people. Absolutely crazy.”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

“Having kids while not being rich enough to afford a nanny was the worst mistake you ever made.”
― Bunmi Laditan, Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault

“The go-to is your parents. You know they are not serial killers. They want to see their grandchild, and you don't want to pay anyone. The perfect situation! The problem is, when you are not paying someone to do a favor for you, they don't really need to listen to you. . . Also your mom and dad are crazy. They raised you, and you are a disaster! By letting them watch your kids, you are giving them free rein to replicate their mistakes.”
― Jim Gaffigan

“Toddlers don't like to eat from their own plates. It's far too predictable. They much prefer raining on your own food parade by picking at your meal. When toddlers do this, it's their way of saying, "Motherfucker, I own you." If you've never tried to enjoy food while having a dirty, chubby toddler hand that has probably recently been up her butt reach onto your plate and pull off your last slice of bacon, you're living the dream.”
― Bunmi Laditan, Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault