Desi

“...you can hate a place with all your heart and soul and still be homesick for it.”
― Joseph Mitchell

“I was trying to go...somewhere," Jace said. "But I kept getting pulled back here. I couldn't stop walking, couldn't stop thinking. About the first time I ever saw you, and how after that I couldn't forget you. I wanted to, but I couldn't stop myself. I forced Hodge to let me be the one who came to find you and bring you back to the Institute. And even back then, in that stupid coffee shop, when I saw you sitting on that couch with Simon, even then that felt wrong to me-I should have been the one who made you laugh like that. I couldn't get rid of that feeling. That it should have been me. And the more I knew you, the more I felt it- it had never been like that for me.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“But sleep didn't come. She could hear Jace's soft piano playing through the walls, but that wasn't what was keeping her awake. She was thinking of Simon, leaving for a house that no longer felt like home to him, of the despair in Jace's voice as he said 'I want to hate you', and of Magnus, not telling Jace the truth: that Alec did not want Jace to know about his relationship because he was still in love with him. She thought of the satisfaction it would have brought Magnus to say the words out loud, to acknowledge what the truth was, and the fact that he hadn't said them - had let Alec go on lying and pretending - because that was what Alec wanted, and Magnus cared about Alec enough to give him that. Maybe it was true what the Seelie Queen had said, after all: Love made you a liar.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Jace, you
don’t have to—”
“I was trying to go…somewhere,” Jace said. “But I kept getting pulled back here. I couldn’t stop walking, couldn’t stop thinking.
About the first time I ever saw you, and how after that I couldn’t forget you. I wanted to, but I couldn’t stop myself. I forced
Hodge to let me be the one who came to find you and bring you back to the Institute. And even back then, in that stupid coffee
shop, when I saw you sitting on that couch with Simon, even then that felt wrong to me—I should have been the one sitting with
you. The one who made you laugh like that. I couldn’t get rid of that feeling. That it should have been me. And the more I knew
you, the more I felt it—it had never been like that for me before. I’d always wanted a girl and then gotten to know her and not
wanted her anymore, but with you the feeling just got stronger and stronger until that night when you showed up at Renwick’s and I
knew.
“And then to find out that the reason I felt like that—like you were some part of me I’d lost and never even knew I was missing
until I saw you again—that the reason was that you were my sister, it felt like some sort of cosmic joke. Like God was spitting on
me. I don’t even know for what—for thinking that I could actually get to have you, that I would deserve something like that, to be
that happy. I couldn’t imagine what it was I’d done that I was being punished for—”
“If you’re being punished,” Clary said, “then so am I.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass