Haley Mathiot

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror with the brown eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait... my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I've been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is fine.”
― Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

“Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.”
― Graham Parke, No Hope for Gomez!

“No offense, but your explanations are as foggy as urine from an infected bladder," Geralt commented calmly, "and the loftiness of your expedition's goal is as dubious as a maiden's virginity after a village fate.”
― Andrzej Sapkowski

“A story is a largely false account of largely trivial events, fed to us by historians who are largely idiots.”
― Andrzej Sapkowski, Sezon burz