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“the most impactful thing we can do with our kids is to show up in a calm, regulated, non-rushed, non-blaming, non-outcome-focused way—both when they are performing difficult tasks and when they are witnessing us perform difficult tasks.”
― Good Inside
― Good Inside
“An insincere apology that blames the victim or invalidates their feelings (like the second example) can cause more harm.”
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
“Why this boundary matters to you.
Example: This boundary matters because I need to keep my son safe.
You have the right to set boundaries.
Example: I have the right to decide who or what comes into my home.
When other people respond unfavorably, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.
Example: My father’s anger doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong.
You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries or how they respond.
Example: My father’s feelings and actions aren’t my responsibility. It’s not my job to make him feel better.”
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
Example: This boundary matters because I need to keep my son safe.
You have the right to set boundaries.
Example: I have the right to decide who or what comes into my home.
When other people respond unfavorably, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.
Example: My father’s anger doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong.
You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries or how they respond.
Example: My father’s feelings and actions aren’t my responsibility. It’s not my job to make him feel better.”
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
“Don’t sugarcoat a difficult person’s behavior. You need to name the behavior for what it is: control, manipulation, and abuse. Doing this makes it clear that their behavior is unacceptable, not your fault, and not something you can change. Seeing harmful behavior for what it is can help you accept an imperfect solution, such as getting a divorce or not allowing your children to visit their grandparents.”
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
“We don’t always like other people’s boundaries; we don’t like being told no or having to compromise. But if we can’t respect other people’s boundaries, our relationships will suffer. We’ll be frequently frustrated and annoyed, we’ll have more arguments, and ultimately, people won’t want to be around us. When we respect other people’s boundaries, we accept their right to self-determination, to do what’s right for themselves. This builds trust and emotional safety because others are more likely to be open and honest with us if they experience us as respectful and nonjudgmental.”
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
― The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships
Daniel’s 2024 Year in Books
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