calico Rosenberg

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Can't Hurt Me: Ma...
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Book cover for In My Skin: A Memoir of Addiction
‘You’re still smiling,’ she said. I couldn’t stop. I had a stupid grin on my face and my eyes were full of tears.
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Augusten Burroughs
“Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.”
Augusten Burroughs, Possible Side Effects

Groucho Marx
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

Augusten Burroughs
“I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.”
Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors

Augusten Burroughs
“In the opening to the Mary Tyler Moore Show Mary's in the supermarket, hurrying through the aisles. She pauses at the meat case, picks up a steak and checks the price. Then rolls her eyes, shrugs and tosses it in the cart. That's kind of how I feel. Sure I would have liked things to be different. But, 'roll of eyes' what can you do? 'shrug' I threw the meat in my cart and moved on.”
Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors
tags: humor

Augusten Burroughs
“Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.”
Augusten Burroughs, Dry

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Bossypants by Tina Fey
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