4ndy

“In other words, perfectionists use procrastination as a way of surviving struggle, challenge and failure without the inevitable emotional damage. But eventually, they’re just damaged by the passage of time.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough

“Contrary to Nietzsche’s famous maxim, perfectionists aren’t strengthened in the trying times. They’re weakened. Left untreated, repeated knockdowns so injure perfectionists’ self-esteem that they begin to feel helpless, and in extreme cases like mine, hopeless. No wonder perfectionism is so enormously damaging. ‘There’s this assumption that perfectionism means we’re more resilient,’ Paul told me. ‘But actually, perfectionism is the opposite of resilience – anti-resilience – if you will. It makes people extremely insecure, self-conscious and vulnerable to even the smallest hassles. If you don’t seek help, it’s easy to see how that vulnerability creates substantial, deep-rooted and enduring distress.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough

“In 1989, the average young person was high-to-very-high in self-oriented and other-oriented perfectionism (most people slightly agree or agree with statements), and moderate-to-low in socially prescribed perfectionism (most people neither agree nor disagree with statements). Not the healthiest profile in terms of personal expectations, admittedly, but good news regarding socially prescribed perfectionism – young people seemed to report that expectations and pressures on them weren’t excessively demanding.
By 2016, however, that profile had drastically changed. Self-oriented and other-oriented perfectionism had edged even higher, which was bad enough. But it was the trend for socially prescribed perfectionism that really worried us. It surged from low-to-moderate in 1989 to moderate-to-high in 2016. Projecting those increases into the future shows us where we might be headed. By 2050, based on the models we tested, self-oriented perfectionism will move above the very high threshold (most people agree with statements) and socially prescribed perfectionism above the high threshold (most people slightly agree or agree with statements).”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough

“Is that impossible version of me really worth living in fear for?”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough