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Sal

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“But my spirit was seeking an ever deeper solitude, and every time I suffered contact with civilization was unbearable torture. With each word they spoke to me, the past welled up again, filling my soul with a silent anxiety that clutched at my throat; and I longed to hurt, to kill, to inflict irreparable damage. But the absurd necessity of making a living forced me to deal with people, and now, as I remember those dealings, I loathe them more than ever. Whenever I made a little money, I did anything possible to forget, and I would drink to the point of falling facedown in the street, where nobody was compassionate enough to help me back to my feet. In the eyes of the world, I was a despicable boozehound, the object of brain-dead laughter, but I considered myself more the victim than the offender - if I was a drunk, it was the world's fault.”
― Rafael Bernal, His Name was Death

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“I've never in my life had a problem giving another person what they
want. But no one's ever been able to do that for me. No one touches me,
no one gets near me. But now you've touched me somewhere so fucking
deep I can't believe and I can't be that for you. Because I can't find you.”
― Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psychosis

tags: dark

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“I believe that the Unutterable and the Incomprehensible are two faces of a double idea, a hermaphrodite idea. Everything that is ugly, unjust, fierce, base, emanates from the Male Principle.
Everything unbearably lovely and desirable emanates from the Female Principle. The two principles are equally powerful and hate one another incurably. In the end, one will exterminate the other, but which will be the
final victor? That riddle is the perpetual anguish of all souls. We hope in
silence for the decisive triumph of the Female Principle, the Good and the
Beautiful, over the Male, that is, over Bestial Force and Cruelty.”
― Renée Vivien, A Woman Appeared to Me

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“When depression visits
I shall hang myself
to the sound of my lover's breathing”
― Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psychosis

33 likes

“How should I receive her when she appeared? I would say nothing, I would walk toward her and stare into the depths of her eyes at her cruel blonde soul. She would be overcome by my silence and my calm. Then, coldly, resolutely, I would strangle her. That would be ugly, brutal, savage, but it would be a brief nightmare, and in the joy of the mystic murder, I would stretch her out on the divan covered in the green of a mossy bank. I would spread about her head the halo of her pale hair. I would fill her hands with white lilies and scatter her body with her favorite roses-white with a tinge of green. She would slumber, only a bit more pale than in her regular sleep. And I would love her in that superhuman hour more than any other being had ever dared to love. That would be madness with its exaltations and its terrors and its aftermath. I would watch beside her until dawn. I would see the taper-flames waver. The deep blue of midnight would fill the corners with shadow. Vally's lids would grow strangely blue. And I would shout aloud as a man does when drunk: I have killed her! Then she would remain forever my virgin Priestess. She would be the pure whiteness of my dreams, the Inaccessible, the Untarnishable. I would have saved her in saving myself.”
― Renée Vivien, A Woman Appeared to Me

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