Carmen

“It is strange that I am dying from a diseased womb, I who have never had periods, I who have never known men.”
― Jacqueline Harpman, I Who Have Never Known Men

“After this, I sat on the floor of the kitchen and thought about Leah, about the shape of her feet and the way she spoke about her father, the special voice she used to talk to cats, her kind frown, her intonation, her fingernails. ... I thought about the day it first occurred to me that, should she die, there would be no one in the world I truly loved. ... Are you just now realising that people die, Leah had said to me when I voiced this thought, tucked up beside her on the sofa with my knees pressed tight into the backs of hers. Not people, I had said, just you.”
― Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

“I couldn’t forgive her for not being there, for having allowed death to snatch her, to tear her from my clumsy arms. I chastised myself for not having held on to her, for not having understood that she couldn’t go on any more. I told myself that I’d abandoned her because I was frigid, as I had been all my life, as I shall be when I die, and so I was unable to hug her warmly, and that my heart was frozen, unfeeling, and that I hadn’t realised that I was desperate.”
― Jacqueline Harpman, I Who Have Never Known Men

“What persists after this is only air and water and me between them, not quite either and with one foot straining for the sand.”
― Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea