Filip

“What's like, except a love that hasn't been invited indoors?”
― Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth

“One for the Emperor, first of us all; One for his Lyctors, who answered the call; One for his Saints, who were chosen of old; One for his Hands, and the swords that they hold. Two is for discipline, heedless of trial; Three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile; Four for fidelity, facing ahead; Five for tradition and debts to the dead; Six for the truth over solace in lies; Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies; Eight for salvation no matter the cost; Nine for the Tomb, and for all that was lost.”
― Tamsyn Muir, Harrow the Ninth

“Camilla, we did it right, didn’t we?” Palamedes said, and now Nona knew he wasn’t speaking to anyone else in the universe. “We had something very nearly perfect…the perfect friendship, the perfect love. I cannot imagine reaching the end of this life and having any regrets, so long as I have been allowed to experience being your adept.”
Camilla Hect stared at him stolidly, and then burst into tears. She made very little noise, but the tears were violent anyway; Palamedes took her hands and said in distress, “Cam—dear one—don’t.”
“No,” Camilla said, after an obvious struggle to master herself. “No. I’m crying because…I’m crying because I’m relieved,” she said, frankly mulishly. “I’m relieved… Warden, I’m so relieved.”
“Not long now,” he promised.
Camilla took a couple of gasping breaths—it was obvious how much they hurt her—and then she said: “Warden—will she know who we are, in the River?”
“Oh, she’s not stupid,” said Palamedes lightly. “In the River—beyond the River—I truly believe we will see ourselves and each other as we really are. And I want them to see us. I am not saying this was our inevitable end… I am saying we have found the best and truest and kindest thing we can do in this moment. Tell me no, and we’ll go on as we have been…and we’ll go on unafraid…but say yes, and we will make this end, and this beginning, together.”
Camilla shivered all over. Then she was at rest; she relaxed her head—the lines of her neck drooped like a flower—she raised it again.
“Palamedes, yes,” she said. “My whole life, yes. Yes, forever, yes. Life is too short and love is too long.”
He demanded: “Tell me how to do it, and I’ll do it.”
Camilla said, “Go loud.”
― Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth

“My whole life, yes. Yes, forever, yes. Life is too short and love is too long.”
― Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth