Steef Jacobson

“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
― Mark Twain

“Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.”
― Neil Gaiman

“On our last mission - our "final exam" - we were airlifted to a remote region, and we parachuted directly into a hostile enclave. We had to subdue the enemy using hand-to-hand tactics like tae kwon do and pugil sticks, cut their hair in styles appropriate to their particular face shapes, and give them perms.”
― Mark Leyner, My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country