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The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help

by Jackson Katz

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Andrew Perry said: " **This is an ongoing review as I read on**

Jackson Katz sets the tone of his subject in the preface of The Macho Paradox by recounting an interactive exercise that he demonstrates to university students, where he asks, first men, then women, "What ste **This is an ongoing review as I read on**

Jackson Katz sets the tone of his subject in the preface of The Macho Paradox by recounting an interactive exercise that he demonstrates to university students, where he asks, first men, then women, "What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?" While the men's typical response is, "Nothing. I don't think about it." Katz offers a plethora of responses from his female students:

"Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I go to sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street."

Katz plainly states that his goal is to reduce violence against women by focusing on male-peer culture, which "provide[s] active or tacit support for some men's abusive behaviour." That being said, throughout the pages Katz is quick to maintain that the structures of gender and power that produce men's violence against women is linked to the wider cultural issue, by which force, or the threat of force, is used to establish or maintain control between men. Katz discredits the notion that a person is likely to get violent when they have "blown a fuse". He concedes that it sounds reasonable to accept that abusers simply "lose control", but upon careful scrutiny, they "will admit that even in their heightened state of anger, they were able to make a series of rational decisions." As someone who works as a bouncer and typically confronts drunk patrons, it surprised me how insightful, yet seemingly obvious, this observation was.

As he introduces some of the problems surrounding our use of language regarding men's violence against women, Katz takes great care to dismiss the argument that abusers behaviour is simply a result of individual pathology, rather than underlying power structures and social norms. Katz writes disparagingly against referring to men's violence against women as a "women's issue", because it "contribute[s] to a broad shifting of responsibility from the male perpetrators of violence to its female victims." Shifting responsibility on to the victim is an ongoing theme in the book, and Katz often uses the highly-publicized Kobe Bryant rape trial as an example of this theme. A striking paragraph reminding of my own complacency in this process was where Katz makes the case that by referring to the allege rape victim as "Kobe's accuser", the media subtly undermined the credibility of the victim by turning people's attention to the actions of the young woman rather than the merits of the prosecutor's case. He observes that Bryant's lawyers successfully shifted the framing of the trial so that Bryant became the "victim" of her accusations. The fixation on her sexual practices overshadowed Bryant's alleged pattern of sexually aggressive conduct toward women. In a recent conversation with a good friend of mine, I referred to an alleged victim as "the accuser", and upon reflection, I think I may have done so with sympathy to the alleged predator, because I had otherwise respected him. I know understand the grievous impact of doing so, and I have this book to thank for making me aware of just how much language impacts our perceptions of events.

My one critique thus far of Jackson's work is within Chapter 3, Taking It Personally. I want to preface my thoughts by acknowledging that, overall, it is a very good chapter, and I could relate to many of the experiences that are shared in my own journey of feminism becoming more central to my life. That being said, I have some reservations with the means by which Katz advocates getting more men involved with domestic and sexual violence programs (although he was clear that he is speaking from experience). Katz says, "I have learned that the surest way to grab men's attention is to get personal. To make this about women they know and love. It is one thing for guys to agree in principle that violence against women is a serious problem, but quite another to talk about their mothers, daughters, or wives. In order to dramatically expand the number of men who make these issues a priority, there is no better motivating force than the power of men's intimate connection to women." On the surface, I believe that this is both practical and effective. After all, it was a great influence on my own personal development. Seemingly aware of the dangers of this reasoning, I offer the words of Katz himself as the premise of my critique:

"One pitfall in the effort to make the mistreatment of women a personal issue for men is the risk that it will tap into some men's traditional chivalry without challenging their underlying sexism. [. . .] So the question is ever-present: what if a man's impulse to intervene for women derives not from caring and altruism, or a sense of fairness and equality, but from a deeply held belief that women are, in a certain sense, men's possessions? What if he is coming from a place where an attack on "our women" is functionally equivalent to an attack on him, or his honor? [sic]"

Katz does offer reminders that prioritizing the needs of the victim is crucial to providing a supportive role. A particularly chilling paragraph found on p.54 is worth noting, "[O]ne of the most painful effects of being battered or sexually assaulted is the experience of a loss of control over one's body. One of the most devastating things a perpetrator does is take this control for himself. So if a man steps in to defend or avenge the victim and he has not checked in with her about what she needs, no matter how well-intentioned he might be, he is also depriving her of the right to take back control of her own life." Overall, I must credit Katz with identifying the unintended consequences of making the subject personal for men, specifically how patriarchal norms of chivalry can both undermine and co-opt sincere attempts at being supportive during the healing and accountability process, but in my opinion he did not sufficiently dedicate time to the means and methods by which men who are socialized with patriarchal values may effectively alter their perceptions and, more importantly, how to shift these perceptions within male-peer groups. I am hopeful that he will address, what I consider, the most glaring weakness of this chapter further in the book. ...more "

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(page 91 of 304)
"I'm going to give an ongoing commentary in the review section (I only get 300 characters here) because I want to discuss the points read as they are fresh in my mind. The subject of the book is a critical examination of masculinity as it is expressed in our modern culture, and how our use of language marginalizes the underlying power structures that impact dynamics between men and women." — Jul 22, 2014 01:11PM

Jul 22, 2014 02:58PM · see review