Chungwon Lee

“There are many perpetrators who seem to have a sixth sense for identifying people who have lost the ability to protest and blame unfairness. If we do not register a “negative” feeling response to hurtfulness, we cannot tell that we are being abused. Instead we tacitly “forgive” our abusers just as we were forced to tacitly forgive our parents, no matter how much ongoing abuse they dish out. This is why psychoanalyst Judith Viorst says:”
― Pete Walker, The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame

“In simple terms, Alice was never safe to speak her mind as a child; therefore, she won’t be safe to speak her mind as an adult. Although this isn’t logical, it can be very hard to break this mindset or cycle, especially if Alice does not become aware of it. If she does not work on breaking this response, Alice will struggle in her intimate relationships and will be unable to communicate with authority figures in her life.”
― Anna Berry, Heal Your Inner Child: Self-Care Guide to Understand and Recover from Childhood Trauma

“how do you go about experiencing and processing your feelings? First, acknowledge you are experiencing an emotion. Too often, many of us will immediately deny to ourselves that we are feeling something. Second, attempt to identify the emotion and the possible source of your feeling. You may not immediately identify the emotion, but it's essential to do so. Sometimes slowing down and "sitting with the feeling" will help you to identify it. Many of us lack the language for feelings, identifying that we're either feeling "good" or "bad." Yet, we have a wide array of emotions as human beings and learning how to identify them contributes to our emotional health. (It may be helpful to refer to a feelings list to help with this process.) For example, is the feeling from a current event, or does a memory from the past trigger it?”
― Linda Young, 3 Stolen Rights:: How Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse and Neglect Can Claim Their Rights to Their Needs, Feelings and Boundaries

“They are energy that moves through our bodies and are either released or repressed. Feelings need to be acknowledged, identified, expressed healthily, and then released. Instead, they continue building up over the years without processing, resulting in periodic outbursts or a "freezing" of those feelings.”
― Linda Young, 3 Stolen Rights:: How Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse and Neglect Can Claim Their Rights to Their Needs, Feelings and Boundaries