Evan Klein

“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”
― Steven Wright

“Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.”
― Steven Wright

“You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.”
― Steven Wright

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?”
― Steven Wright