Evan Klein

“Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.”
― Steven Wright

“You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.”
― Steven Wright

“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”
― Steven Wright

“All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.”
― Steven Wright