Paul

“Most spouses of AVPs appear to have an early history of independence in their upbringing. They are often analytical in their approach and overall thinking. Almost all of the spouses state they like to be close. They appear to be planners and goal directed. Overall, they have strong expectations of themselves and others they are close to. They are now unhappy and see their spouse as unhappy. They have an underlying sense of wanting to fix the issues of the spouse.”
― Dr. Sandra Smith-Hanen, Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder

“Therefore, while social phobics and patients with AvPD both avoid out of fear, the social phobic’s fears mainly arise in the clinical context of feeling, or actually being called upon to perform in ways ranging from giving a speech to urinating in a public washroom. In contrast the avoidant’s fears generally arise in the context of interpersonal relationships, the main marker I look for in making the diagnosis of AvPD.”
― Martin Kantor, Distancing: Avoidant Personality Disorder

“Avoidants purport to want love, respect, and care in their lives and in their relationships. Yet it is very difficult to even approach the specifics with them. To start, they are unsure of themselves, and they need to communicate some certainty to others.”
― Dr. Sandra Smith-Hanen, Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder

“Typically as the relationship ages, avoidants will begin to find fault and focus on petty shortcomings of their partner.”
― Jeb Kinnison, Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner