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“Keeping the locus of responsibility in the one who owns the problem is important because: First, leaders who get team members to solve their own problems are making a sound investment that will pay off with many benefits: their team members will become less dependent on them, more self-directing, more self-sufficient, and more capable of solving problems on their own.”
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“I am now convinced that adolescents do not rebel against parents. They only rebel against certain destructive methods of discipline almost universally employed by parents. Turmoil and dissension in families can be the exception, not the rule, when parents learn to substitute a new method of resolving conflicts.”
― Parent Effectiveness Training -Do not let children expelled you
― Parent Effectiveness Training -Do not let children expelled you
“Active Listening facilitates problem-solving by the child. We know that people do a better job of thinking a problem through and toward a solution when they can “talk it out” as opposed to merely thinking about it. Because Active Listening is so effective in facilitating talking, it helps a person in his search for solutions to his problems. Everybody had heard such expressions as “Let me use you as a sounding board” or “I’d like to kick this problem around with you” or “Maybe it would help me to talk it out with you.”
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“Active Listening influences the child to be more willing to listen to the parents’ thoughts and ideas. It is a universal experience that when someone will listen to one’s own point of view, it is then easier to listen to his. Children are more likely to open themselves up to receive their parents’ messages if their parents first hear them out. When parents complain that their kids don’t listen to them, it’s a good bet that the parents are not doing an effective job of listening to the kids.”
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“To understand what effects roadblocks to communication have on children or what they do to the parent-child relationship, parents must first be shown that their verbal responses usually carry more than one meaning or one message.
For example, to say to a child who has just complained that her friend doesn’t like her or doesn’t play with her anymore, “I would suggest you try to treat Emma better and then maybe she will want to play with you” conveys much more to a child than simply the “content” of your suggestion. The child may “hear” any or all of these hidden messages:
-“You don’t accept my feeling the way I do, so you want me to change.”
-“You don’t trust me to work out this problem myself.”
-“You think it’s my fault, then.”
-“You think I’m not as smart as you.”
-“You think I’m doing something bad or wrong.”
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For example, to say to a child who has just complained that her friend doesn’t like her or doesn’t play with her anymore, “I would suggest you try to treat Emma better and then maybe she will want to play with you” conveys much more to a child than simply the “content” of your suggestion. The child may “hear” any or all of these hidden messages:
-“You don’t accept my feeling the way I do, so you want me to change.”
-“You don’t trust me to work out this problem myself.”
-“You think it’s my fault, then.”
-“You think I’m not as smart as you.”
-“You think I’m doing something bad or wrong.”
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Michelle’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Michelle’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
430 books
|
27 friends
13 books
|
23 friends
0 books
|
15 friends
28 books
|
221 friends
2 books
|
170 friends
79 books
|
92 friends
2 books
|
163 friends
23 books
|
50 friends
More friends…
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