Rishika

“When they felt secure with their lover, they could reach out and connect easily; when they felt insecure, they either became anxious, angry, and controlling, or they avoided contact altogether and stayed distant.”
― Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

“People who are unbonded do funny things in relationships: They don’t look for safe people: there’s no hunger.
They don’t recognize safe people: no one is safe.
They don’t reach out to safe people: why get hurt again? Although unbonded people often have friends and families, their isolation is deep and can cause many serious problems. A person who cannot bond may suffer from addictions, depression, emptiness, excessive caretaking, fear of being treated like an object, fears of closeness, feelings of guilt, feelings of unreality, idealism, lack of joy, loss of meaning, negative bonds, outbursts of anger, panic, shallow relationships, or thought problems such as confusion, distorted thinking, and irrational fears.”
― Henry Cloud, Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

“Aggressive control: someone hurting us if we say no
Passive control: someone leaving us if we say no
Regressive control: guilt messages if we say no
Limitlessness: someone never saying no to us These dynamics are common in most relationships, and are extremely destructive to our ability to conduct our lives responsibly. But how do boundary injuries hurt our safety?”
― Henry Cloud, Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

“That’s how real life works. If you’re faced with a problem, you don’t panic and declare immediate catastrophe. You call for quiet and give everyone time.”
― Stephen A. Schwarzman, What It Takes: Lessons in the Pursuit of Excellence