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Terry Pratchett
“Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Terry Pratchett
“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett
“There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.”
Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett
“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Terry Pratchett
“Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.”
“Will it cost me anything?”
“What? I just said it was free!” said Miss Tick.
“Yes, but my father said that free advice often turns out to be expensive,” said Tiffany.
Miss Tick sniffed. “You could say this advice is priceless,” she said, “Are you listening?”
“Yes,” said Tiffany.
“Good. Now...if you trust in yourself...”
“Yes?”
“...and believe in your dreams...”
“Yes?”
“...and follow your star...” Miss Tick went on.
“Yes?”
“...you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye.”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

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