Justin

“What about you, Mr Asano? What are you looking for in a woman?” “Evil genius,” Jason said casually. “Evil genius?” she asked, eyebrows raised. “Why not? Smart, confident, assertive, driven. What’s not to like?” “The evil?” Cassandra ventured. “That could be a problem long-term,” Jason acknowledged. “Maybe what I need is a naughty genius.” He thought it over for a moment as an impish grin took over his face. “Yeah,” he said, voice purring. “That sounds exactly right.”
― Shirtaloon, He Who Fights with Monsters

“Alright,” Jason said. “Any idea if I’ll be getting my old rank back?” “The issue is that you’re very… loud for an iron-ranker,” Vincent said. “They’re going to want a display of humility.” “No worries,” Jason said. “No one’s as good at being humble as me.”
― Shirtaloon, He Who Fights with Monsters 3

“[I’ve also removed your ability, and your need, to poop. Don't ask how, I'm somewhat ashamed of my solution. The lucky fellow who necessitated this change gets to keep his [Plague Lord] class, and he still gets to reap the benefits of the ongoing plague; but enough is enough. I remember well enough from last time not to make the mistake of taking away your precious ability to fart. I don’t need to deal with endless complaining on top of everything else.]”
― Matthew Howry, The Prince Has Been Outclassed

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather