Alissa

“I wouldn’t exactly say we were scraping the bottom of the barrel by date seven, but Josh did feel the need to fake diarrhea, and I readily rushed him out to the car, apologizing profusely to our confused dates over my shoulder.”
― Christina Lauren, Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

“Please tell me you’re not that guy right now.”

“What guy?”

“The guy you’ve always been, who wants me to be quirky but not weird, who wants me to dance only when other people are dancing, who likes telling all the stories about me but doesn’t remember how much he bitched about each of those moments when it happened.”
― Christina Lauren, Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

“Dave hands me the bread. Josh takes some chicken onto his plate.

The silence is homicidal.

Emily finishes her wine and Dave pours her more. For such a small thing, Emily can really pack it away.

“Winnie has worms,” I tell the table, and spread some butter on my bread. “Took her to the vet earlier. I was so worried I was going to have to treat it with some ointment in her butt, but—nope—just a pill.”

I take a sip of wine and grin at them. Josh puts his fork down and cups his forehead. But in a few beats they all break into laughter, and Emily looks over at me with my favorite kind of fondness.

“She doesn’t really have worms. I was just kidding.”

I am nothing if not a decent icebreaker.”
― Christina Lauren, Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

“Emily straightens. “Oh! What about your brother? He’d have so much fun with Hazel.”

“My brother is engaged.”

Emily levels him with a flat look. “David, we all know that’s not going to last.”
― Christina Lauren, Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating