Doug

“I shall clasp my hands together and bow to the corners of the world.
May your villages remain ignorant of tax collectors, and may your sons be many and ugly and strong and willing workers, and may your daughters be few and beautiful and excellent providers of love gifts from eminent families that live very far away, and may your lives be blessed by the beauty that has touched mine.
Farewell.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“....Master Li turned bright red while he scorched the air with the Sixty Sequential Sacrileges with which he had won the all-China Freestyle Blasphemy Competition in Hangchow three years in a row.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“I can see him now in his cart pulled by two deer, followed by a couple of servants. Once carried enough wine to kill Liu Ling, and the other carried a spade to bury him on the spot – so much for Confucian ceremony. When I came to call, he’d greet me stark naked and I can still hear him scream, “The universe is my dwelling place and my house is my only clothes! Why are you entering into my pants?”
― Barry Hughart The Story of the Stone

“...the problem with poetic justice is that it never knows when to stop.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds