Andy McBeard

“People were hungry, driven, spiritually ambitious, and willing to do whatever it took to make a difference in the world. This environment attracted incredible leaders and stirred within me a desire to make a difference, to be a part of what God was doing in this generation. However, when my spiritual ambition was integrated into a church that had a vision for greatness, some ungodly things stirred in my soul. My insecurity caused me to feel the need to compete and prove that I had what it took to make it as a leader in the kingdom of God. This desire to prove myself through competition was woven into my foundational understanding of ministry, and it shaped the paradigm of how I could obtain value in the church. You only matter to God if you do great things for God, I thought, and if you really want to do something great, you have to go to a place where that sort of greatness is appreciated. So bearing just two suitcases and a soul full of ambition, I left my life in Australia behind to start a new one in the States. When I got my first job as a youth pastor, the ministry environment was a revelation. In large American churches, where numbers are a key metric, my ambition was rewarded rather than rebuked. I realized that I could and would do anything to help my ministry grow. My arrogance was interpreted as confidence, and the worldly goals I set were cleverly disguised as spiritual-sounding initiatives. And it worked.”
― Jon Tyson, The Burden Is Light: Liberating Your Life from the Tyranny of Performance and Success