Captain Romance Pants

“What do you think of this" he asked, indicating the painting nearby.

She gave him an odd look. "I think it's an enormous painting of a dog."

He made a show of considering the picture and nodded seriously. "An astute observation.”
― Sarah MacLean, Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake

“Oh, Genevieve. He was so adorable. I wanted to kiss him. Right on his big, beautiful nose. And then everywhere else. It was so frustrating. I had made my mind up to not lose my temper, but I did. And so I beat him and beat him until he kissed me. And then I kept on beating him until he did it properly. And I had better tell you, mortifying as it is to admit, that if we had not been struck by lightning—or very nearly—I should be utterly ruined. Against a lamppost. On the Rue de Provence. And the horrible part is”—she groaned—“I wish I had been.”

"I know," Genevieve said soothingly. "Believe me, dear, I know.”
― Loretta Chase

“We have to stop, this is insane. I literally cannot handle anymore. I think I’ve lost brain function. I can actually feel myself becoming stupid”
…
“Not possible. Let’s test it. What’s two times two?”
“Orange?”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead