Bob

“I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Three gods, two Druids, and a selkie walk into a bar …”
― Kevin Hearne, Shattered

“Do you know my dog's name?
[...]
"It is from an ancient word, kerberos. It means 'spotted.'"

I blinked. "You're a genuine Greek god. You're the Lord of the Underworld. And . . . you named your dog *Spot*?”
― Jim Butcher, Skin Game

“Fish and Wildlife wants to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International