Joel Adamson

“My books always say something, even if it’s just something simple like: 'Don’t genetically engineer crabs to be as big as men.”
― Garth Marenghi

“He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark. His bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm. Mary's body felt like it was burning, even though the room was properly air-conditioned. They tried all the positions - on top, doggy, and normal.

Exhausted they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa-bed. Then a hell beast ate them.”
― Garth Marenghi, Slicer

“My books are all essentially about ‘what ifs’. In Black Fang I asked: What if a rat could drive a bus? And what if it and its rat brethren took over and ate Parliament?”
― Garth Marenghi

“Reading the very best writers—let us say Homer, Dante, Shakespeare, Tolstoy—is not going to make us better citizens. Art is perfectly useless, according to the sublime Oscar Wilde, who was right about everything. He also told us that all bad poetry is sincere. Had I the power to do so, I would command that these words be engraved above every gate at every university, so that each student might ponder the splendor of the insight.”
― Harold Bloom, The Western Canon: The Books and School of the Ages