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“Actually, it's rare for someone to die doing this sport, but it's not at all rare to want to.”
― Running on Empty
― Running on Empty
“Bloody and bowed by the outrages of life, most human beings still stagger on down the road, unscathed by real depression. To discover why some people plunge into the downward spiral of depression, one must search beyond the manifest crisis—and then still fail to come up with anything beyond wise conjecture.”
― Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness
― Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness
“She seemed immune to that common affliction sometimes called throne syndrome. It was similar to the effect that actors and musicians have on people, except with actors and musicians, the root cause is talent. I had no talent‚ so I’d been told, again and again—and thus all reactions to me had nothing to do with me.”
― Spare
― Spare
“Sadly, we were going to have to flee. We’d need to find somewhere new, and soon, and that would mean paying for our own security. I went back to my notebooks, started contacting security firms again. Meg and I sat down to work out exactly how much security we could afford, and how much house. Exactly then, while we were revising our budget, word came down: Pa was cutting me off. I recognized the absurdity, a man in his mid-thirties being financially cut off by his father. But Pa wasn’t merely my father, he was my boss, my banker, my comptroller, keeper of the purse strings throughout my adult life. Cutting me off therefore meant firing me, without redundancy pay, and casting me into the void after a lifetime of service. More, after a lifetime of rendering me otherwise unemployable. I felt fatted for the slaughter. Suckled like a veal calf. I’d never asked to be financially dependent on Pa. I’d been forced into this surreal state, this unending Truman Show in which I almost never carried money, never owned a car, never carried a house key, never once ordered anything online, never received a single box from Amazon, almost never traveled on the Underground. (Once, at Eton, on a theater trip.) Sponge, the papers called me. But there’s a big difference between being a sponge and being prohibited from learning independence. After decades of being rigorously and systematically infantilized, I was now abruptly abandoned, and mocked for being immature? For not standing on my own two feet? The question of how to pay for a home and security kept Meg and me awake at nights. We could always spend some of my inheritance from Mummy, we said, but that felt like a last resort. We saw that money as belonging to Archie. And his sibling. It was then that we learned Meg was pregnant.”
― Spare
― Spare
“...all those weirdos who sit around on message boards
just waiting to lend an ear to some sweet thing who can't
stand one more half hour of driving the dress shirts
to the dry cleaner and buffing the goddamn nogahyde,
who might take a peek at my shapely megabytes
and say oh you poor honey why don't i send you a one-way
plane ticket right out to my castle in beverly hills or san francisco and that would be *that* I swear to christ”
― Helen of Troy, 1993: Poems
just waiting to lend an ear to some sweet thing who can't
stand one more half hour of driving the dress shirts
to the dry cleaner and buffing the goddamn nogahyde,
who might take a peek at my shapely megabytes
and say oh you poor honey why don't i send you a one-way
plane ticket right out to my castle in beverly hills or san francisco and that would be *that* I swear to christ”
― Helen of Troy, 1993: Poems
What's the Name of That Book???
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Megan’s 2025 Year in Books
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