Susan

“Or not,” I said as I ground my teeth. “I like to masticate by myself.” “And you’re so good at it,” Gary said. “The up and down motions of your… jaw. And then, upon completion, you swallow. Right, Sam? You swallow, don’t you?” “Of course I do,” I said, confused. What the hell were we talking about now? “I always swallow when I finish. What am I supposed to do? Spit it back out?”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“You okay, Sam?”
“Ha-ha, why wouldn’t I be? Everything is peachy! I’m okay. I’m better than okay.”
“Okay. I only ask because you haven’t stopped staring at me for the last four hours.”
“You lie with all your lies!”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“Look. This has been… fun.” Lie. This had been nerve-racking and I needed to go masturbate. “But I have to go. I’ve got stuff to do before I head out again.” Masturbate. “Wizard stuff. Like… secret wizard stuff.” Masturbate.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“Gary, why Sam sweating?”
“Well you see, my dear Tiggy. When a boy loves another boy very much, it makes him awkward and have feelings in his penis and mmmphh!”
“Sam, why you use magic and glue Gary’s mouth shut?”
“Is that what that was? Gosh! I just thought I was singing to myself!”
“MMMMPH!”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart