Sapphyria

“Time-out,” I said. He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?”
“Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips.
“If I don‘t go, do I get a spanking?”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“What do you want?"

"You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“How would you like your eggs?"

I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why.

"Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out."

"The interest alone is going to kill you."

"What do you charge?"

"Three hundred eighty-seven percent."

"Is that ethical?"

"It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light