Chop Snowbeard

“Winning doesn’t interest me terribly, in the sense that in anything I have ever done I have never wanted to be better than anyone else… I was not interested in beating anyone, just in getting better by myself.”
― Marty Feldman, eYE Marty: The Newly Discovered Autobiography of a Comic Genius

“He had not got where he was today by bothering how things worked. It was how people worked that intrigued him.”
― Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

“It wasn’t that he was unhelpful, but he had the kind of vague, cheerful helpfulness that serious men soon learn to dread.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“We can do it out here?” Sophie asked, looking uncertainly at the village around them. “Clive can,” Jason said. “He’s more flexible than most, so he can do it just about anywhere you have a flat space.” “It might seem unusual for the two of you to just up and do it in the middle of a village square,” Humphrey said, “but it’s something the villagers will be eager to see.” “It won’t take long,” Jason said. “Clive can just slip it into you out here and we can head off.” “He’s right; it won’t take long,” Clive assured her. “Even in less comfortable conditions, I’m very quick to finish.” “Alright,” Sophie said. “It’s not like it’s my first time.” “You heard the lady, Clive,” Jason said. “Whip it out.”
― Shirtaloon, He Who Fights with Monsters 2