Joel

“Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary.”
― Oscar Wilde

“An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper.

One of the firefighters look at the other. "Not again.”
― Tim Dorsey, When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State

“Nobody gets everything in this life. You decide your priorities and you make your choices. I'd decided long ago that any cake I had would be eaten.”
― Donald E. Westlake, Two Much

“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.”
― Frederick Douglass