Mike Gloady

“The offender needs pity, not wrath; those who must needs be corrected, should be treated with tact and gentleness; and one must be always ready to learn better. 'The best kind of revenge is, not to become like unto them.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“There have only been two geniuses in the world — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.”
― Tallulah Bankhead

“For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. Lost in the depths of despair I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve this. I wasn't an evil person. The worst thing I'd ever done was kick a pig - School trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence.”
― Alan Partridge, I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

“Some people say that I talk too fast, but I think it's just that they listen too slowly.”
― Mark Kermode