“I'm concealing a lot of things. That's what a lady does.”
― Queen of the Flowers
― Queen of the Flowers
“If I ever saw my muse she would be an old woman with a tight bun and spectacles poking me in the middle of the back and growling, "Wake up and write the book!”
―
―
“No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that they didn't own their horses any more, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops.”
― Eric
― Eric
“A dollar for a human bought a loaf of bread that was eaten in a few bites. The same dollar for Wee Mad Arthur bought the same-sized loaf, but it was food for a week and could then be further hollowed out and used as a bedroom.”
― Feet of Clay
― Feet of Clay
“And, er, these stories about you..."
"Oh, all true. Most of them. A bit of exaggeration, but mostly true."
"The one about the Citadel in Muntab and the Pash and the fish bone?"
"Oh, yes."
"But how did you get in where half a dozen armed and trained men couldn't even - ?"
"I am a little man and I carry a broom," said Lu-Tze simply. "Everyone has some mess that needs clearing up. What harm is a man with a broom?"
"What? And that was it?"
"Well, the rest was a matter of cookery, really. The Pash was not a good man, but he was a glutton for his fish pie."
"No martial arts?" said Lobsang.
"Oh, always a last resort. History needs shepherds, not butchers."
"Do you know okidoki?"
"Just a lot of bunny-hops."
"Shittake?"
"If I wanted to thrust my hand into hot sand I would go to the seaside."
"Upsidazi?"
"A waste of good bricks."
"No kando?"
"You made that one up.”
― Thief of Time
"Oh, all true. Most of them. A bit of exaggeration, but mostly true."
"The one about the Citadel in Muntab and the Pash and the fish bone?"
"Oh, yes."
"But how did you get in where half a dozen armed and trained men couldn't even - ?"
"I am a little man and I carry a broom," said Lu-Tze simply. "Everyone has some mess that needs clearing up. What harm is a man with a broom?"
"What? And that was it?"
"Well, the rest was a matter of cookery, really. The Pash was not a good man, but he was a glutton for his fish pie."
"No martial arts?" said Lobsang.
"Oh, always a last resort. History needs shepherds, not butchers."
"Do you know okidoki?"
"Just a lot of bunny-hops."
"Shittake?"
"If I wanted to thrust my hand into hot sand I would go to the seaside."
"Upsidazi?"
"A waste of good bricks."
"No kando?"
"You made that one up.”
― Thief of Time
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