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David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

David Sedaris
“Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.”
David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

David Sedaris
“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
David Sedaris

Mark Twain
“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

David Sedaris
“On Undecided Voter​s: "To put them in perspective, I think​ of being​ on an airplane.​ The flight attendant comes​ down the aisle​ with her food cart and, eventually,​ parks​ it beside my seat.​ “Can I inter​est you in the chick​en?​” she asks.​ “Or would​ you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broke​n glass​ in it?”

To be undecided in this elect​ion is to pause​ for a moment and then ask how the chick​en is cooked.”
David Sedaris

4112 American Gods: All Gaiman, All The Time — 959 members — last activity Nov 03, 2023 12:17PM
What? No group for Neil Gaiman fan(atic)s? For Shame! Well, now there is--a group for all things Gaiman. If you're a fan of his novels, his graphic no ...more
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