Matt

“One Babylonian roué, arraigned before a judge in about 1800 BC, testified, I swear that I did not have intercourse with her, that my penis did not enter her vagina; not, one reflects, the last time someone has got off on that technicality.”
― Irving Finkel, The Ark Before Noah: Decoding the Story of the Flood

“290. November 2nd. Hans Ziegler of Brodt, alias der Botz, who threatened to burn down the houses of his friends and guardians for refusing him money, though he had formerly squandered it on women and prostitutes. Beheaded with the sword, as a favour.”
― Franz Schmidt, A Hangman's Diary: The Journal of Master Franz Schmidt, Public Executioner of Nuremberg, 1573?1617

“I wrote it to do this for myself, and it’s seemed to have the same effect on a lot of other people. I can’t explain it. Perhaps I’ve inadvertently written a self-help book.”
― Neil Gaiman, Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Death so often chooses its moments without consideration.”
― W. Somerset Maugham, Ashenden Or the British Agent