Llaph

“You will not pass!” Roman thundered.
Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.”
― Ilona Andrews, Gunmetal Magic

“I grumbled, completely convinced that Jarl was responsible for everything nasty, up to and including the flu, pigeons, and the relative inaccessibility of the G-spot.”
― Nicole Peeler, Eye of the Tempest

“It's one slice of shit-cake after another with me, isn't it? Why did you marry me?"
"God gave you to me."
"Did you keep the receipt?"

- Amber and Meoraq”
― R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann

“It wasn’t until I’d walked halfway across the parking lot that I realized: 1. I wasn’t wearing shoes.
A. Or a shirt.
2. I didn’t bring my keys                      
A. Or anything really.
3. I’d just left a complete stranger in my apartment.                      
A. Naked.

Whoever said one-night stands were supposed to be simple with no strings attached had clearly never met the disaster that was me.”
― Cora Carmack, Losing It