Craftierjoker

“Fuck that. Fuck that idea like the fucking captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Cats are assholes. I get it. But do you know why people like cats, despite their asshole-ness? It’s because they don’t fucking talk. If they did, and they were all like you, they’d all be extinct because we’d have killed you all by now.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“The most prominent feature in the park itself was an inexplicable thirty-foot-tall mountain of white near the center. Some college-age kids were digging into the side. “Beer Mountain,” said Andre. “Twenty tons of chipped ice, ten thousand bottles of beer embedded throughout. Partiers just dig ’em out as the night goes on. Can’t tell from here, but it’s in the shape of Mt. Rushmore, only all four heads are Arthur.” “Thank god, for a second I thought it was cocaine.”
― David Wong, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

“As the saying goes, a star pilot’s flight jacket has no stains, only stories.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Will Save the Galaxy for Food