Stephanie

“67. One Day When There Were Several People in the Empress’s Presence

One day when there were several people in the empress’s presence, including many senior courtiers and young noblemen, I was leaning against a pillar, chatting with some of the other women. Suddenly Her Majesty threw a note at me. “Should I love you or should I nor?” it said. “What will you do if I cannot give you first place in my heart?”

No doubt she was thinking of recent conversations when I had remarked in her hearing, “If I do not come first in people’s affections, I had just soon not be loved at all; in fact I would rather be hated or even maltreated. It is better to be dead than to be loved in second or third place. Yes, I must be first.” Hearing this, someone had said, “There we have the Single Vehicle of the Law!” and everyone had burst out laughing.

Now the Empress gave me a brush and some paper. I wrote the following note and handed it to her: “Among the Nine Ranks of lotus seats even the lowliest would satisfy me.”

“Well, well,” said the Empress, “you seem to have lost heart completely. That’s bad. I prefer you to go on thinking as you did before.”

“My attitude depends on the person in question,” I replied.

“That’s really bad,” she said, much to my delight. “You should try to come first in the affections of even the most important people.”
― Sei Shōnagon, The pillow-book of Sei Shōnagon

“Logic only took you so far. Sometimes the cure to the dark was to find another flame burning bright.”
― Christopher Paolini, To Sleep in a Sea of Stars

“Lord, teach me to be generous;
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
To give and not to count the cost;
To fight and not to heed the wounds;
To toil, and not to seek for rest;
To labor, and not to ask for reward -
except to know that I am doing your will.”
― St. Ignatius of Loyola

“67. One Day When There Were Several People in the Empress’s Presence

One day when there were several people in the empress’s presence, including many senior courtiers and young noblemen, I was leaning against a pillar, chatting with some of the other women. Suddenly Her Majesty threw a note at me. “Should I love you or should I not?” it said. “What will you do if I cannot give you first place in my heart?”

No doubt she was thinking of a recent conversation when I had remarked in her hearing, “If I do not come first in people’s affections, I had just soon not be loved at all; in fact I would rather be hated or even maltreated. It is better to be dead than to be loved in second or third place. Yes, I must be first.” Hearing this, someone had said, “There we have the Single Vehicle of the Law!” and everyone had burst out laughing.

Now the Empress gave me a brush and some paper. I wrote the following note and handed it to her: “Among the Nine Ranks of lotus seats even the lowliest would satisfy me.”

“Well, well,” said the Empress, “you seem to have lost heart completely. That’s bad. I prefer you to go on thinking as you did before.”

“My attitude depends on the person in question,” I replied.

“That’s really bad,” she said, much to my delight. “You should try to come first in the affections of even the most important people.”
― Sei Shōnagon, The pillow-book of Sei Shōnagon