“... - the Age of Anxiety, dating from around August 1945, is twenty three years old this very month - and her daily life is in essence a sandbagging operation against its seas and their tides. But this is worry and it is a little different from anxirty: Particular rather than pervasive, it arrives unannounced, without anxiety's harbingers, dread and forboding, the fearful tea in which we steep awaiting oblivion. Instead, worry turns up on the door step, the overbearing, passive aggressive out-of-town relative who insists he "won't be any trouble" even as he displaces every known routine and custom of the house for days and weeks on end; as he expropriates the sofa, the bathroom, the contents of the liqour cabinet and cigarette carton, and monopolises the telephone and the ear of anyone within shouting distance. Worry displaces the entire mood, the entire ethos of the house - even if that mood hitherto consisted largely of anxiety - and replaces it with something more substantive, more real than mere mood. You would be mightily pleased to have ordinary anxiety back in residence, for under worry there is no peace whatsoever, not even the peace of cynicism, pessimism or despair. Even when the rest of the world is abed, worry is awake, plundering the kitchen cupboards, raiding the refrigerator, playing the hifi, watching the late show until the national anthem closes the broadcast day; then noisily treading the halls, standing in your bedroom door, wondering if by any chance you are still up (knowing that of course you are), breathing and casting its shadow upon you, the silhouette of its slope-shouldered hulk and towering black wings.”
― Love Among the Ruins
― Love Among the Ruins
“I never answered your question, if I’d ever thought about being human. Once. I was on a track in the andes, and a hummingbird flew up to me and just hovered there staring at me. Its tiny heart was pattering like a machine gun… And I thought, ‘what a thing, you know, to have to work that hard every day just to stay alive, to be constantly on the verge of death, and how satisfying every day must be that it survived…’ And that was the only time I thought about being human.”
―
―
“I am fond of lovers but I cannot love, I am too far away, am banished,”
― Diaries, 1910-1923
― Diaries, 1910-1923
“I can't keep writing about just the rainbows, sunshine and those calm oceans. All that thunder, pain, demons, and chaos have their own beauty too. The moment my pen starts bleeding from the same end, where it was spilling the stars too. All I can do is sit in silence and witness how it starts placing the darkest demons around the same paradise it had built till now.”
― The Abandoned Paradise: Unraveling the beauty of untouched thoughts and dreams
― The Abandoned Paradise: Unraveling the beauty of untouched thoughts and dreams
“The mistake most of us make is that we build our homes in other people in the hope that they will deem us worthy of being welcomed inside. We feel so abandoned and empty when people leave, because we’ve invested so much of ourselves in them.”
― Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul
― Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul
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