Status Updates From Helping Her Get Free: A Gui...

“Children learn from their parents; if they have a parent who uses violence to handle problems within intimate relationships, the children learn that violence is an acceptable way to behave in those relationships.”

“A batterer’s pattern is to isolate his partner and make her totally dependent upon him psychologically and financially, so she can’t easily leave him when his abuse escalates.”

“Potential batterers almost always abuse their partners on an emotional level before they physically abuse them.”

“If an abused woman feels that you are trying to control her life in some way, she is likely to either distance herself from you in an angry attempt to take back control over her life, or allow you to control her life in a passive attempt to minimize conflict between you, to stay connected to you. Whichever way she responds, she does not gain a sense of her own power to make decisions and change in her life.”

“If she has nowhere to go and no one to turn to her partner is freer to abuse her without concern about her leaving the relationship.”

“It is in a batterer’s best interest for his partner to have no anchor; in case she decides to leave him she will have no one to help her make decisions or locate a safe place to stay. For her to be physically as well as emotionally isolated paves the way for him to escalate his use of control and violence within their relationship.”

“Most physically abusive relationships begin with emotional abuse.”

“Although her actions don’t always bear this out, a woman in an abusive relationship can be desperate for a solid base to turn to, an anchor to lend her perspective and nurture her self-esteem.”