Status Updates From Nooit meer drama: Leer gren...

People aren’t always aware that a pattern exists, but when they are, patterns are often regarded as deep family secrets. Some families hope that a dysfunctional situation is simply an anomaly, and perhaps it will disappear on its own. But changes don’t happen unless the problem is addressed head on. Some things don’t get better with time.

Affirmations for Overfunctioners:
I can listen to people without assuming my help is needed.
It isn’t my job to resolve issues that they can resolve on their own.
If people want my help, I will allow them to ask.
When asked to help, I will help in a way that doesn’t rob my care for myself.
I am willing to step back and allow things to unfold; to allow others to care for themselves in their own way.

We often assume that doing things FOR people is the most helpful way to support them. But ultimately SHOWING people how to care for themselves is the best way to help them in the long term.
Hard truth: some people (including those we care about) have no desire to care for themselves in healthy ways, or lack the will to do so.
Over-helping comes at a cost- caretaking others means we’re not present for our own lives.

Dysfunctional Families are ones in which:
Abuse, chaos & neglect are accepted norms.
Unhealthy behaviors are ignored, swept under the rug, or catered to.
Eg keeping secrets, pretending everything is fine, not expressing emotions, using aggression to get what you want.