Status Updates From What On Earth?: An Alien's ...

“Therefore during the next global health emergency I will conscript the world's finest professional darts players to lead the vaccination effort.”

first message I received from my james (the aforementioned 'kell friend') this morning was '"if you bite me for no reason things will happen. and no I will not elaborate". and thats just like telling me not to push the big red button isn't it

truly committed to the bit

in summary: ed milliband ate a bacon sandwich on 21st may 2014 and that caused everything bad until the covid pandemic, unless the bacon had bar in it, in which case he caused that too

beginning to realise i already know too much as count binface’s biggest fan because why have i learnt nothing new yet