Status Updates From Cat Love

this is exactly what i expected it to be but also nothing like what i expected. having so much fun.

“To experience the totality of a rainbow would be madness for a human. The body would be so overcome that the mind would forget itself, forget the rainbow, so that when one was broken from this trance, one would have only the vaguest memory of color and warmth. Cat love is like this.”

Aww

‘The final straw was when, one day, I wasn’t moving fast enough out of her way and she nudged me with her purse. Some cheap thing that spelled Michael Kors with a “C” instead of a “K.” I turned and scratched her bag. She jumped back and cried like she was hurt.’

Relatable

“Here I was, two years old, and already with babies after my first tomcat. What a life.”

Poor baby

“Male calicoes are rare, which makes it even more annoying that I sometimes get mistaken for one. Just because I have wide shoulders and look like I can throw down doesn’t mean I’m not a lady.”

Lmao damn girl

“She had been working as a Pity Party Planner for a few months back then. Since she had been a semiprofessionally unhappy person for years, it made sense that she’d finally put all that experience to good use and get paid for it.”

Relatable

“Since the vet had said that I had kidneys that would one day go bad, the Mustache had started to feed me these pellets that tasted like someone’s idea of food. When my hunger strike hadn’t worked, I relented and ate the pellets.”

This is so cute

“He had a secret passion, though. When the store was empty and all the boxes sat perfectly on their shelves, he would print a blank receipt from the register and scribble a poem on it. When he read these poems to me on our couch, I would purr in his lap, just happy that he was happy for a moment.”

Awwwww

This book will become my new religion. This is BEYOND GORGEOUS. Also bonus points for the Glee mention