Status Updates From Space Raptor Butt Invasion

My guy friend said he’d read ACOTAR if I read a Chuck Tingle book so here we go. Worth it 😂

let’s get it gays

I CANNOT HAHSHAHSAIHSAUSHA this book is so absurd. The butt swearing??? The code rule for astronauts??? The unicorn hating????? OMG 🤣🤣🤣 this is pure entertainment smooth brain level (even the severe editing mistakes are funny)

I really thought these books were an elaborate prank, made for the sake of showing the absurd covers and ludicrous titles. But it seems I was wrong???

This title is begging for my attention..

“raptor rod” 💀

god I love tiktok

Chuck this better be worth the $2.99 I paid for it.

Probably the best book about dinosaur astronaut butt slamming I have ever read. Haven’t finished it yet though.

So many butts

GUESS WHICH HUGO AWARD NOMINEE WE`RE READING NEXT!

Before you judge this book, or me, for that matter, I'd just like to point out that this heap of steaming doo-doo HAS been nominated for the 2016 Hugo Award. Go figure:

Despite being a bloodthirsty dinosaur carnivore, Orion is actually incredibly sweet and has a truly gentle soul.

This.

"You’ve been a very bad astronaut.” Orion tells me, his raptor face pressed hard against mine as we pump together in sweaty unison. “So you’re gonna take my Jurassic load up your asshole and you’re gonna like it."

"I mean, it’s not gay if it’s a dude raptor and a dude human, right?” I ask. “Totally not gay.” Says the dinosaur.

Lance if only you piped up sooner you could have had your butt invaded in the first seconds of the book rather than the first minutes. DUMMY!

The planet is named Zorbus. This is like something from MST2K, right?

Was I already space crazy? Was I so upset by the thought of my impending loneliness that I’d created a fellow astronaut in my head?

Despite being a bloodthirsty dinosaur carnivore, Orion is actually incredibly sweet and has a truly gentle soul. The longer that we spend together, the more I find myself drawn to him, attracted even. Our difference in species surely couldn’t classify me as gay, could it?

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Chuck Tingle I love you!!

“Well…” I start, not exactly sure where I’m headed. “I mean, we’re both up here together, I can’t see why we can’t hang out a bit.” I see a faint glimmer of hope behind Orion’s dinosaur expression. “Yeah?” He asks. “Sure. You play ping pong?”

So that's what they call it these days? Interesting.

"Despite being a bloodthirsty dinosaur carnivore, Orion is actually incredibly sweet and has a truly gentle soul."