Status Updates From Only You (My Best Friend #4)

Girl you done F'up now!! You better run!! Cause Shane about to dig in that ass!!!

No, no, no. Between the son who needs a speech therapist, the immature ride or die heroine, the 'trying to be hard' hero and this new totally unbelievable storyline of the mother abusing the kid, I'm going to have to pass. Life is wayyyy too short to read ridiculously BAD books.

Are we just supposed to deduce that all these people know each other? I guess they got to know each other in the year that was totally skipped and would have shown any foundation to this relationship. Sigh.

Why on earth does this kid talk like this? It's driving me utterly crazy. I know he's 3 but his speech pattern is just off.

"I think it's best if we call it quits." Wait, what??? Just like that, out of nowhere?? After all the ride or die, I've been a bad girl, Daddy's giving you what you want? What??? That is just piss poor editing right there, folks.

"I don't have shit to say to that ni..."
"I dare you to finish that sentence. I will put a bullet in your brother's f*cking head right now. Well alright! I can get behind this.

"Tim, look. She belongs to us. Lawd, I'm only 15% in. Jesus, take the wheel.

"I think you have the wrong kid. You might want to look over there," pointing to an area with predominantly African American kids Ha haaaa!!! I'm sorry. That mess is hilarious.

"I think you need to cover up." LOL Ohhh, so they're both crazy. Bish, dis my house.

My neck already did the whipper snapper and that was only the prologue. How on earth did she come back from that rude first encounter to even entertain this fool in the first few pages? Do these authors even know the difference between a psychotic asshole and an alpha male??

Alright I'm starting this mess. Considering the book I just DNF'd pissed me off I might as well keep the party going. Ugh, do I really need to re-read the sample? The things I do for my craft.

And this is where I tap out. I can't! When you start quoting Beyoncé you have officially vexed my spirit. I hope everybody dies. THE END. DNF at 80%.

See! He just had a literal come to Jesus meeting and now he's talking about his dick. See, this is why doves cry!

Oh Jesus. Literally. :sigh:

Yay! Unemployment for everyone! I'm just elated that no one is a secret billionaire. #progress

I want to DNF this book so bad. Like, is this part of a series? Do I supposed to already know his brother's story? WTF is happening here?! Is there only one police station in their city? Does he have to cuss like a 12-year-old? Oh, so I guess he just gets to leave work without saying a word. How can explicit sex scenes be so boring? It's like, "this happened, then this happened, then orgasm."

What adult reacts like this?! I apologize guys. This is not Maury, this is Jerry. All these mofos need Jesus.

SMDH