Status Updates From Will & Patrick Meet the Fam...

Awww. Good job, Patrick.

"But it’s bullshit that you need to shame yourself into being a good man. You are a good man. Chubby or not.”

Spoilers


Okay I really don’t like Kimberly. I can put aside the fact that she doesn’t trust Patrick (even though Will is right in that Patrick is doing him a massive favour by not demanding an immediate divorce). But… (continued in comments)

Ryan’s a dick. And Kimberly’s a bit overbearing, no?

Will glances his way, brow furrowed. “I didn’t know that.”
“What?”
“About Jenny.”
Patrick reaches out and pats his hand. “It’s okay, puddin’-pop. She’s lovely but doesn’t hold a candle to you. Not enough chest hair or a big enough dick.”
Reba chokes on her wine.

“It reinforces hopelessness.” - So true. I love Patrick.

“You know what I miss about Atlanta?”
“Sushi?”
Patrick’s smile glints again. “Besides sushi.”
“Cuban food.”
“Besides Cuban food.”
“Soul food.”
“No, dammit, I miss brains!”
“You want me to round one up for you? Put my Molinaro genes to good use? Shove some people off high things? Do you want me to run someone over with my car?”

“Do you have any nicknames?”
Will face crinkles in confusion. “Why?”
Patrick rolls his eyes. “I’m, I don’t know, making conversation.”
“You’re very bad at it. Stop.”

“Bring everything back to sex?”
“Sex is fun. It’s a great way to let off steam. It releases endorphins and, even better, oxytocin. Ever heard of that? “Oxytocin is happy juice. It’s the cornerstone of civilization, bonding people together, making them more likely to reproduce and pair-bond, which, in turn, makes them less likely to murder one another. Sex is what civilization is built on.”

Andy's looking Patrick up and down. “Will, is this a joke?”
“No, but it’s a long story,” Will replies.
Patrick shrugs. “Actually, it’s not. Met in Vegas. Love at first sight. Married within hours. Happily ever after. The end.”

Oh, wow, I hate Ryan.

Re-read.