Status Updates From Run Posy Run (Underboss Ins...

“You’re the person,” he says like it’s an explanation.
“What do you mean?”
“People talk about levels of aggression, mimicry, those sorts of things. But if you read about it, ultimately, it comes down to whether you can care about another person. Until I met you, I was a psychopath. And then I was a sociopath.”

“We’re going to get married, Posy. You’ll have my babies. You’ll be happy.” He pauses, pensive. “It’s what you wanted. Right?”
I don’t say anything.
He knows the answer’s yes.
Just like he has to know the answer is “no” now

“You don’t seem to like me very much.” I don’t like the hurt audible in my voice.
“What do you mean?”
“According to you, I’m needy. I’m a clinger,”

“Fuck her a few more times. Get her out of your system. Then get rid of her.”
Posy Santoro isn’t in my system. She burst into life in my empty shell and made it into something. She is my system. Maybe I didn’t understand that before I lost her.

When we first met, she wasn’t any different from anyone else except she played chess well. And then, one day, she won a close match, and she screeched, and I felt it.
It wasn’t novel like a new smell or shade of color. It was like all the air in the world was suddenly tinted pink. Like a glimpse at a new dimension.
I can recognize feelings, but only Posy’s are real. Only Posy’s matter.

“I know that Carolyn bought me all the stuff. You don’t know me at all, do you, Dario?”
I know her perfectly. Better than she knows herself. She’s a tangled ball of self-doubt, foolish pride, dumb hope, brilliance, masochism, and blind affection. And I’m obsessed.
I need her back.

No one ever paid more attention to me than Dario Volpe when we were in the middle of a game. I was the center of the universe, and this exquisitely beautiful, powerful man was desperate to know what I was thinking.
I hate him.
I hate him more than all my exes combined.
I was his toy.
He didn’t love me. He doesn’t even know me. How could he? We never talked about anything that mattered.”

Posy is the only person who’s ever been able to beat me at cribbage. And she’s one of the few who even knows how to play.
I want her back now.