Status Updates From Watcher

“Author note: I hope you enjoyed this spooky, Halloween-themed novella and developed a newfound love of scarecrows. If you find yourself feeling inspired on your next visit to the pumpkin patch, please remember that scarecrows are meant to be observed and hay is rather prickly in the nether regions.”

I’M CRYING 💀

GOURD

“Yes, darling. Come apart for me.”

“If anyone would have asked me two weeks ago how I felt about getting naked in a corn field while a scarecrow watched with a boner, I would’ve asked what they were smoking.”


LMAO

“Cassie, that’s your vagina talking.”


PLEASE 💀

“You are quite attractive when you are terrified.”


I fear that’d work on me

HERE WE FUCKING GOOOOOO 👀

“Who’s there?” I call out



Never say "who's there?" Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. 👻

“I might not have much experience growing vegetables, but I’m fairly certain corn doesn’t groan”


LMAO that’s how I talk too 💀

“I hope they fall off a cloud” made me cackle

“Just like a scary movie. I crack a smile at the thought.”


She’s just like me fr

neon pink taser lol


I mean, who says you can’t slay while defending yourself from demon scarecrows

In Cassie’s defense… you can’t just drop this mysterious superstition in her lap then refuse to answer any questions, gaslight her, and act all weird about it and NOT expect her to investigate on her own

“I don’t even like apples.”


INSANITY

“the stairs to the second floor are no joke”


Girl you should see the stairs to my apartment lmfao (I’m on the 3rd floor & the steps are VERY steep, my best friend always needs to take a break halfway up when they come over)

“The last straw was finding him with his face between my best friend’s thighs while she sat perched on my kitchen counter.”

OOP fuck them, go get you some hot rebound scarecrow dick