Status Updates From Wolfen (Wolfen, #1)

Yeah no. Really can't do this. Dnf

“Because she was an idiot.” Excerpt From: Madelaine, Montague. “Wolfen.” Finally

This book used an exclamation mark 716 times. Not even joking. My E reader tells me so.

“You're an alpha female,” he murmured, his voice husky with a promise that evoked a startling rise of heat inside of her in response." Don't think so. Mentally handicap maybe.

I get that it's an erotica, but an erotica doesn't mean bad writing is fine as long as there's sex. How did this get through the publisher?

But then suddenly she's going to find wolf in the forest?? Didn't she get woken up from bed because of the loud music and wants the biker to turn it down? Why is she saying that she must go find the wolf tonight? The chronological order of this book doesn't make sense.

Ok so for some reason, she's sleeping in her underwear. That is fine. And going outside in her underwear to a group of bikers at night alone is probably accidental. Okkk

I'm trying okay. Since I already have this book anyway... Damn it

DNF

“The name's Balin."  The voice was the deep rumble of a high testosterone male and it sent a wave of prickling sensation through Danika that she dimly recognized as a purely feminine reaction to an attractive male.” Excerpt From: Madelaine, Montague. “Wolfen.” Cringed worthy dialog.

“Her ears felt as if they'd elongated with the intensity of their focus on the men.” Excerpt From: Madelaine, Montague. “Wolfen.” What is this? What the hell does that even mean???

“She came face to face with a local as she crossed the threshold. He narrowed his eyes at her, his lips tightening with anger. Surprised since she recognized him and he'd flirted with her when she'd first arrived, she moved aside for him to leave, turning to watch him curiously as he limped to his car.” Is this english??????

The authors excessive use of m dash and ... Seemed as if she just discovered them and is trying to use it as much as possible. This just shows her lack of writing ability to make sentences flow elegantly.

“People might think she was too out of step with the real world to notice things, but she did!” Omg reallllly. Sarcasm my dear.

Too! Many! Exclamation! Marks! My university professor used to say that only bad writers use exclamation marks outside of a dialog.

Great example of too dumb to live heroine. Aside from being a klutz who lost her work and just stops her car in the middle of the intersection when the light is still say 'go'. She now proceed to make eye contact with men she perceived as dangerous even when she knows she shouldn't do that.

Horrible writing and limited vocabulary. Don't think I can continue for long.

I never heard anyone talk to themselves out loud in real life. You know a book is going to be bad when it starts the first page with “I made a list,” she muttered to herself. “I know I did. I must've put it in the bag.”

You know how they say don't judge a book by it's cover? And don't judge someone's work if you can't do it better? Well I'm going to say shitty photoshop work with hard to read letters doesn't quantify as a book cover. And yes I can do better than this. Feel free to hire me.

Danika doesn't yet know about shifters. Xavier, the sweet but dense 1, keeps sticking his paw in his mouth:

“It's the full moon,” Xavier said, nodding when she finally looked at him and deftly sidestepping when Dakota aimed an elbow at his midsection.

 Danika looked at him blankly. “The moon isn't full,” she said pointedly.

 "Not yet,” Xavier agreed. “It's still a few days away, but you know how people act."

It's sooo anti-feminist, but 5 shifter/wolfen alpha-males keep squabbling over first mating-for-now rights over a lone human female and it's cracking me up. It appalling that she has no say, and that's why it's funny.