Lancakes > Recent Status Updates

The author displays a complete lack of understanding for how the Irish use the word "grand"

"But you - your songs... they're about badass women. Formidable, gossamer-draped, apocalyptic witch goddesses slinking toward the edge of the world."

"I see. And that's not you?"

"I buy vintage Christmas coasters at the flea market! I trim my dog's bangs with baby nail scissors. I-" I'm rambling. "I'm a one-kiss-on-a-bus girl. Not dream-worthy."

I can excuse a lot but if the FMC is gonna clit block herself I'm out

FMC is in Washington, DC and thinks to herself "Human rights I voted for have been signed into law on these manicured lawns." Girlypop that's not how any of that works lmaooo, OPEN THE SCHOOLS

Lmao we love that this starts with a dedication to the author's partner that's like "babe I'm only feral for Hozier's music because of how much I love YOU"

AKDHDHDJSHDK IM FUCKEN SCREAMING 💀 HER SAFEWORD **IS** POMEGRANATE FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF 😂

Oooh OK so this is just, like 50 shades of grey fanfic? What's Persephone's safe word, pomegranate?

First kiss at SEVENTY ONE PERCENT INTO THE BOOK.
theeee SLOWEST of slow burns i've ever gotten myself into (not criticising, just processing!)

They've boned and now I actually do not have any drive to conclude the B plot and find out how the magical mayhem gets sorted lol.

"Elise flirted with men by bullying them; she didn't know how to flirt with women."

this book is ABOUT ME 😅 a depressed protagonist who can't stop buying herself little treats she can't afford?? I'm being attacked.

I fear I, a lifelong sufferer of intense and irrational arachnophobia, may be flying a little too close to the sun with this one 😅

NANNNNNN GOLDINNNNN 😭❤️‍🔥

Finding myself going "well, yes" every five seconds. The third generation rich kids are incompetent and spoiled? Well, yes. The pharma industry taught doctors how to get patients on opioids but not off them? Well, yes.

"-in the words of one longtime friend, Louis Lasagna, his agenda-"

PATRICK YOU CAN'T JUST SKATE OVER A NAME LIKE THAT LMAO I'M SCREAMING

Ohhhh, I get it. Faery smut has some kind of psychosexual dominance edge to it.

Getting a lot of cool, specific details but critically missing the answer to where these people are taking their shits during this week in the tunnels under Paris lol

I know I'm thinking along the wrong genre with this but it seems to me all their problems would go away if they just... killed that character 🙂

Reading this for a book club. Listening to full cast version. I fear I will hate every second of this.

Thought I was gonna continue my cosy fantasy escapism and this book was like "bitch you THOUGHT" and opened on a violent and fiery revolution 😅

Very easy to suspend my disbelief and accept that a moose runs a coffee shop and yet here I am, getting worked up about the racial profiling of raccoons.

It cannot be overstated how IMMEDIATELY I was sucked in, I needed "Joe's Mug" merch before I was even done reading the character list pre-text.

Only anyone who's ever laid eyes on me knows how badly I'm hurting over Mina's lemon yellow Supreme tracksuit 😩💛

"but now that we pretend Covid isn't a thing anymore..." Paul Tremblay, you alright! I had my suspicions when you typed "PM2.5" and this confirms you are a down-ass bitch 😷💗

I'm gonna end up having to keep this book in the freezer once I read any further 🙃

Tired: "Who did this to you?"
Wired: "Who did what to your younger sister lemme beat his ass real quick"

Crying screaming puking pissing myself 😭

WHEW, Y'ALL - it's hittin

Reading a book with a dirty-footed, wild-haired, loud-mouthed witch who fuels her magic with foraged forest oddities.

We're so back 😎 we've never been so back

said in the most Canadian accent you could imagine:

Juuuust fucken SOBBING

This is a banger

The yellow pansy ceremony is so heartbreaking and powerful.