Joseph > Recent Status Updates

Typo: Missing quotation mark. Again.

"We must be neat at all times, Mother. Isn't that what you always told me?"

When?

I'm sorry, it's just really throwing me that Harvey has suddenly become a completely different character. Possibly SEVERAL different characters. His personality isn't just inconsistent with how he was before, it's inconsistent within the same scene.

"When he killed my mother, I went into shock[...]I couldn't believe what had happened. I wanted to be free of her, but not this way."

Then why did you put on the costume that you know turns you into a serial killer? Or did you not? But that doesn't make any sense either! Why did you put it on if you DIDN'T think you would attack her? How did you not know about the werewolf killings in town? MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE.

Missing quotation mark around "he."

"...facing the chipped, flaking paint on the Painter front door."

Well, then it sounds like they're not Painters, then.

Typo: The sentence "there must be something inside that house..." isn't capitalized.

So I guess he already knew he was the werewolf-murderer and was just okay with it? Might have shown him figuring that out. He also acted weird in this scene, more Hannibal Lecter-type serial killer than fits him.

Gretchen apparently hadn't heard about the werewolf-murderer in town, but I guess she doesn't seem like the type to keep up with current events.

"Honestly, I don't for the life of me understand a word you're saying."

Yeah, the dialogue in this part is especially bad. Only about half of the lines follow logically from whatever the previous one said.

I was wondering if Harvey has heard about the werewolf-clad murderer the whole town is hunting in the place where he normally hangs out, and if not, HOW he hasn't...and now the whole issue is made weirder because Gretchen is freaking out about his costume, but NOT because she suspects that he's the serial killer, but just because...he's not allowed to own a Halloween costume? Apparently?

"I believe you Warren" should have a comma.

Missing quotation mark.

The problem with trying to make this character sound smart is that everything she says is bullshit.

"The case of the raving wereling."

She said the thing!

These are not logical assumptions. He's figuring this out just because the plot outline wants him to.

But like...he doesn't even have to realize that Harvey wants solitude and considers the Dunes his "territory." The idea that a serial killer wants to serial kill in a fairly isolated location is more reasonable and would yield the same results.

Typo: "...there's no such thing as a werewolf. not a real one, anyhow." Either that first period should be a comma or "not" should be capitalized. Preferably the latter.

Typo: "rivited" should be "riveted."

Once again: men are brunets, not brunettes.

Typo: Sherman becomes "Serman" at one point.

"Olfactory organ." He's so pretentious.
Shut up, it's your fucking nose.

The scene from the first-page preview, but without the typo. Interesting.

"You ordered one deluxe with the works, a large fry, and a large chocolate shake. That'll be three twenty-four."
"At the rate things are going up, pretty soon we won't be able to afford to eat."

The Year of Our Common Era 2026: 😑

Do you have a job, Gretchen? 'Cause if not, STFU about not thinking Harvey's is good enough.

Typo: "kicked of the force" should be "kicked off the force."

I'm gonna assume "doubledamn" was intentional, though Robbins might have just missed his space bar.

It loses its impact if you call it "the...thing..." every time that you mention it.

Also, the point of ellipses is to give a sense of pause, which really doesn't work when you're trying to convey a sudden attack.

Another missing quotation mark.

Typo: "Tomorrow he would work his normal, shift at the deli" doesn't need that random comma.

There are a lot of typos in this book.

"He could get in, but he could do it without her noticing?" Pretty sure that's supposed to be "could he do it."

Typo: Missing quotation mark.

"Once the word spread that the Dunes were haunted by a werewolf he'd have them to himself every night."

That or you'll create an urban legend that will attract a ton MORE people. I know I'd be a lot more likely to hang out on the beach all night if there was a chance of seeing a werewolf.

"The woman was a diminutive blonde, the guy a brunette."

NO. Men are brunets, not brunettes.