Elaina > Recent Status Updates

“let me be sick with your heat, let me be feverish and frowning. Now I am utterly given.”

sunshine all the time makes a desert

“The soul that swam the furious water sinks now in flies and the brain flops like a docked fish and the eyes are flat boat decks riding out the pain.”

“how at night she wrote in her leather books that no one came. Surely I remember the hooks of her fingers curled on mine, and forgot us anyhow; visiting the pulp of her kiss, bending to repeat each favor, forcing love to last. Now she is always dead and the leather books are mine…I think I hear it call to me below but no one came no one came.”

Sexton hitting rn.

“And if I tried
to give you something else,
something outside of myself,
you would not know
that the worst of anyone
can be, finally,
an accident of hope.”

“What else is this, this intricate shape of air?
calling me, calling you.”…once at a time moving summers inside my mind.

“And we are magic talking to itself,
noisy and alone. I am queen of all my sins
forgotten. Am I still lost?
Once I was beautiful. Now I am myself”

“You’ll find rain better
Than shelter from the rain.”

“Like a
Wind-blown autumn flower
That never lifts its head
Again.”

“Be like those who act without further thought, almost unaware of their good deeds.”

…adaptable to others' needs, never demanding their constant attendance...

insecurity is the mother of greed, as cruelty is the memory-if only in the blood-of a time when the test of survival was the ability to kill

this is funny so far. not at the gruesome murder parts yet, but the obscene and offensively inflammatory language makes me both uncomfortable and free.

I'd like to travel back 542 million years ago to live in the "Garden of Ediacara". A garden "relatively self-contained", made of "self-possessed beings".

Oh how pleasurable such a life, free of complicated interactions and unnecessary conflicts coming from this non-consensual current physicality of mine - yet to still hold such sense complexity.

If God is real, will she please delight me? Make my wish come true?

The chemistry of life revealing fundamental functions within the unique nervous system of octopuses and our ancestors...this makes you rethink intelligence, the architecture of brains and bodies, and how they control curiosity, play, and ingenuity.

When the universe has crushed him man will still be nobler than that which kills him, because he knows that he is dying, and of its victory the universe knows nothing.

Good Pascal reference.