abs > Recent Status Updates

I was going to joke about queerbaiting but tbh I'm just relieved that they didn't make the obviously lesbian-coded character a pedo in the ninth hour (review to come)

"she was afraid to use the word, to even think it, but sometimes Tracy felt like she was falling in love with Barbara Van Laar". Gay???? Gay awakening at summer camp???? Fork found in kitchen

Christ this book is brutal

"Despite Ellwood's tactile relationship with his other friends, he rarely laid a finger on Gaunt unless they were play-fighting. Gaunt would have died rather than let Ellwood know how it bothered him." This book is gonna hurt me i can feel it

Well that was...interesting (review to come)

"You are a foreskin on destiny's prick and you will be cut away" is an absolutely INSANE roast

My favorite quirked up white woman goes on another adventure 💖

Cute! (Review to come)

It's unfortunate that this follows the "a _____ of ______ and _______" naming formula, because this has NOTHING in common with most other books that do

"there's only one bed" is OUT! "don't you dare conjure a second bedroll for me, I'm trying to get laid" is IN!

If the dog dies I'm crashing out i stg

Wendell is such a diva 💅🧚‍♀️ peak fae prince love interest, everyone else can pack it up

Me finally finish this book??? Perhaps

....did this fucking lesbian vampire book just misspell Carmilla???? The OG lesbian vampire book?????? Of all the typos to miss in copyediting????? I'm cry

Charlotte: "i hope nobody in my family can guess why I'm not excited for the marriage season :((("
Charlotte's mom:

If i had a nickel for every lesbian vampire in this book who snacks on a man who assaulted her...

The paranormal fandom-cult analogy is RIGHT there and we're going to take a hard left into murder hide-and-seek territory instead??? Can we get any more cartoonish???

"digging up the body of a cult leader who died 50 years ago is no big deal as long as I'm offered a quarter mil." -the average Mr. Beast watcher, probably

Girlypop, how long are you gonna keep this dead dog in your freezer??? 😭😭😭

The whiplash between "My wife left because of my Snoopy obsession" and "Someone flew a plane into the World Trade Center" is SENDING me

"It seems sentient. Definitely malevolent." Most accurate penis description I've read. Romance writers will never top this

Everyone in this book is an asshole (compliment)

emerald fennell, my diva, how are you spinning a romance out of this one???? pray tell????

I forgot what little assholes they were as kids

Y'all nerfed a ghost nazi and completely u-hauled but haven't even kissed yet??? Okay then (review to come)

Help i can't stop staring at the cover now that i know Tristán's left pupil is bigger than his right

The animated skeleton reads smut. RIP Satchel, you would've loved AO3

Curbing my Tiny Bookshop addiction by reading about a tiny bookshop instead 😌 and the owldog's name is Potroast 😭😭😭

"STFUATTDLAGG" this should NOT be a serious moment, this is a COMEDY, I am CACKLING