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"You are a foreskin on destiny's prick and you will be cut away" is an absolutely INSANE roast

My favorite quirked up white woman goes on another adventure 💖

Cute! (Review to come)

It's unfortunate that this follows the "a _____ of ______ and _______" naming formula, because this has NOTHING in common with most other books that do

"there's only one bed" is OUT! "don't you dare conjure a second bedroll for me, I'm trying to get laid" is IN!

If the dog dies I'm crashing out i stg

Wendell is such a diva 💅🧚‍♀️ peak fae prince love interest, everyone else can pack it up

Me finally finish this book??? Perhaps

....did this fucking lesbian vampire book just misspell Carmilla???? The OG lesbian vampire book?????? Of all the typos to miss in copyediting????? I'm cry

Charlotte: "i hope nobody in my family can guess why I'm not excited for the marriage season :((("
Charlotte's mom:

If i had a nickel for every lesbian vampire in this book who snacks on a man who assaulted her...

The paranormal fandom-cult analogy is RIGHT there and we're going to take a hard left into murder hide-and-seek territory instead??? Can we get any more cartoonish???

"digging up the body of a cult leader who died 50 years ago is no big deal as long as I'm offered a quarter mil." -the average Mr. Beast watcher, probably

Girlypop, how long are you gonna keep this dead dog in your freezer??? 😭😭😭

The whiplash between "My wife left because of my Snoopy obsession" and "Someone flew a plane into the World Trade Center" is SENDING me

"It seems sentient. Definitely malevolent." Most accurate penis description I've read. Romance writers will never top this

Everyone in this book is an asshole (compliment)

emerald fennell, my diva, how are you spinning a romance out of this one???? pray tell????

I forgot what little assholes they were as kids

Y'all nerfed a ghost nazi and completely u-hauled but haven't even kissed yet??? Okay then (review to come)

Help i can't stop staring at the cover now that i know Tristán's left pupil is bigger than his right

The animated skeleton reads smut. RIP Satchel, you would've loved AO3

Curbing my Tiny Bookshop addiction by reading about a tiny bookshop instead 😌 and the owldog's name is Potroast 😭😭😭

"STFUATTDLAGG" this should NOT be a serious moment, this is a COMEDY, I am CACKLING

So glad Ryan isn't a real person bc the performative men reading joke would have had him taken out back and shot like a lame horse

I'm sorry I know this is supposed to be a serious plot point but Heike's "I knew it!" has me rolling. It's just this meme:

Screaming crying throwing up

Fake IDGAFer. I see you yearning

Inez's insistence on tagging along for dangerous situations when she has the combat skills of a wet tissue is fucking hilarious